116.2025

I'm trying to be a rational creature and not let anxiety and the "what ifs" get to me, but I did spend some money this week on those little electronic things that may be harder to get in the near future. Also some basic toiletries (such as toothpaste and deodorant in my preferred flavors that aren't stocked by the Big Warehouse store).

While I was ordering it, I was telling myself I was being silly, but also I could feel that I wasn't. This is what we've come to. I've spent more money this week on the Evil Big River site than I have all year.

I think I'm just having an anxious period, what with me still not being able to get a new job, and only three days left in my current one. I'm looking forward to working on house projects and get everything in order, but I'm also stressed about how expensive the world is and how little money I'll get on unemployment.

It will work out. We'll find a way. I don't think there's anything I currently need, as in, really truly can't live without. But any little thing that's popped into our brain as a "I've been wanting this and it would be nice to have" has sent me to the app to immediately start a cart. We can figure out how to muddle through, but right now, I want to make sure we're prepared.

I also splurged on some new shoes. I have shoes. I have shoes I haven't really worn and am not sure of their quality and comfort. I also have my favorite pairs of shoes that are literally falling apart (after approximately five years and one year for each pair) and need to be put to pasture. I also believe that my favorite shoes are made in China and thus may be harder to acquire. So I took advantage of a sale to at least get me through a year, possibly longer if the other hardly worn shoes in my collection aren't totally terrible.

On a positive note, I've continued to pass on ordering more clothes, despite temptation. I'm vaguely looking forward to my unemployed time to go through all the scattered clothes and assemble them in one area and marvel at just how many plain black t-shirts a girl can amass. And the fact she keeps buying dresses despite wearing them maybe once a year at most. I know clothing will be more expensive since even if it's sustainably made, the raw materials are likely exported. But I already have so much that it's definitely not a need (plus I'm still clinging to beloved clothes I used to be able to fit into, so if I stick to my resolve to lose weight, I will still have enough to get by).

All in all, I think I'm threading the needle. Yes, I may waver here and there (50lb bag of rice for 2 people!). But while there may be an item here and there that may not be as necessary as I originally thought, I still think we'll be able to use everything, even if it turns out that I didn't need to bulk buy.