21.2025

This is not related to a No Buy Year, but I must clear my head.

In 2021, I thought I should pick up journaling again. Y'know, good old fashioned pen on ink. I had a handful of pretty yet empty journals (as a lover of stationary, it just happens) and thought I would finally use them up.

I started one entry on January 5th, 2020. Then stopped.

The reason I wanted to journal again was because 2019 and 2020 had been such traumatic years for me and I wanted to regain my mental footing. I used to be the type who would process things by writing it out, and I had a lot of things I needed to process.

I stopped because, once again, I felt like the world had done an applecart upset and I just couldn't deal with it all. Writing things down means dealing with them.

I've been careful to curate a social media feed, an online world where there are people I trust and respect and know to be honorable. Yes, there are terrible people out there who want to destroy anything good or noble or true. But there are also many people who want to preserve justice and restore the broken.

But right now, the online world is a mess. I don't want to be on social media at all. Not that I was very much in the first place, but I'm exhausted by it. Exhausted in having to actively be alert to bad-faith bots. I just want to enjoy the company of similar-minded folk and enjoy pretty pictures of art and scenery and silly jokes.

I haven't done anything on Instagram in a year, and I'm not active on there in general, but I still think I'd be sad to miss having access to the few things I've posted. I don't use Facebook except for a couple of niche groups. I tried Threads for a week and then deleted it. And Twitter, well. I abandoned that the first day it was bought out.

I've since shifted over to Bluesky, which I like, and which I think I'll keep. But I still don't want to be too active. I don't trust things.

It's weird to think of how, two decades ago (sigh, I am so old...), I had no problem making friends online through things like MySpace and LiveJournal and the like. I loved the blogging world. I am a text-based person. I love words and writing. Or at least I did.

But the world wore me down and I didn't want to talk about my life any more. I didn't want to read about the world any more. I just wanted to escape.

I still feel the desire to escape. Which is why, I think, I've renewed my energy towards getting my house in order (literally) and being more cautious and pragmatic about how I spend my money – and where I spend my money.

I need to focus on the tangible, the day-to-day, the things I cannot escape. I want to make my home a sanctuary for me and my family... and any others who may need sanctuary, to know that they are loved and cared for, and that evil people can not control their lives forever.